Good Evening Peeps
One of the joys of being human is that we don’t have to be perfect to be one of the good ones. At some point, we’ll all make stupid decisions, hurt the people we love, say things that are hard to take back and push too hard to get our way. None of that makes us toxic. It makes us human. We mess things up, we grow and we learn.
When you are a child, you don’t learn how to walk without falling down. No one keeps bringing it up or holds it against you. It’s no secret that we all make mistakes and, maybe we want to forget them or we have learned from and grown from it.
Unfortunately, it’s not the same with the mistakes you make as an adult and no matter how different we feel inside and out, someone may choose to keep reminding us of the things we did when we were possibly selfishly unaware or simply not as educated, emotionally and physically.
Nothing pops the air in your balloon-like someone forcing you to defend your past choices when you feel like you have successfully made better choices.
It makes you feel like you can’t escape the former you and all your hard work has been in vain.
2 questions that always run in my mind is :
Why Do People Do This?
How Do You Stop Them from Bringing Up Your Past?
If its someone you trust and who you share a fairly good relationship with, they may have a misguided belief that reminding you of your past mistakes is making you a better person. Or, they may not be able to accept that you are changing, so they continue to remind you of your past.
You also have to remember that people don’t see everything you are doing so they go on the information they have which may be an older version of yourself. And, people often judge you in the areas they want to fix themselves. When they are bringing up your past mistakes, they are often talking to themselves about the areas of their lives they think they need to improve but haven’t made progress.
If they are not someone you trust, their motives could be to embarrass or control you. Someone who doesn’t want to see you become a better person will keep reminding you of your mistakes so they can keep you feeling shame which will undermine your progress.
You can’t stop people from bringing up your past mistakes. You can’t stop them from seeing you the way you used to be. You can’t stop them from putting more emphasis on your mistakes over your triumphs. They have to come to that conclusion in their own time or, possibly, never at all.
However, what is in your control is how you feel about your mistakes.
Do you judge yourself harshly for your past mistakes? Do you still feel bad about them or beat yourself up for them? Have you forgiven yourself? Do you accept them as the way you learned and a necessary part of your past?
If you can accept your past, even with the mistakes, as apart of who you are and not use them to torture yourself, then nobody can torture you with them.
It takes the power out of someone bringing it up. Without shame, they can’t control you or make you feel something that you don’t want to feel.
Life is about learning and growing from our experiences. It’s about becoming stronger in the process, not carrying it around like an anchor weighing you down from living and enjoying your life today.
There’s an Arab proverb that states that you should write the bad things that happen to you in the sand so that they can be easily erased from your memory. However, most of us engrave the bad things that happen to us in marble; therefore, our painful memories remain immortalized in our minds.
Do you know how long you’ll live? No one knows. I hear about the deaths of young people and even children almost every day. This helps me realize that we should appreciate each second, minute and day of life. If you have a habit of living in the past, think about all people that have lost their lives. I do agree, it’s a terrible thing to think over. However, it will help you realize that you don’t have time to waste your life.
So has this or does it happened to you ???
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